Neighbor, passer and roommate

 

In a language I can use but cannot master, I never find a word that can describe that exact meaning: Some one show up in your life, then you will not meet them forever once they leave. Maybe you have said “Bye, bye”, maybe not.   I prefer to call them passer in my life. The truth is that is the only word I know. Mention to passers, they can be someone to whom you were nice, or quarreled; someone to whom you were close enough to play a high-five, or kept a distance by shaking hands gently; someone with whom you spent you whole life, or just a thirty minutes flight. Any body can be passer in your and my life. You are connected by this or that reason, even not so reasonable sometimes.

 

Those passers here I wanted to write about first are my neighbors. When I was looking for a house in my new life, I did consider a lot about my neighbors.  I cannot afford a fancy mansion where your neighbors are separated by the backyard; I do not need so mush space, neither. Fortunately, I can have an apartment without a roommate.  I am not so particular. Ok, maybe I am. My previous roommates were my mom and dad, even no siblings. I am not sure whether I know how to share a room or house with someone you have no relationship with.  Hence, I have those neighbors, who are just sleeping at another side of the wall.

 

I should thank my neighbors’ god sending them to my life, since I don’t have mine. Some of them are passers in my life now. For example, the lady or mom lived in next door to me. Her youngest daughter is a teenage now. She was pursuing her degree in law school when I moved in. We went to drama together once. I talked to her daughters once. She showed me the Eeyore her daughter gave her once. She helped me receiving packages several times; including the TV I am watching now. We had short chat about her and my country and other things several times, when I went outside to throw trash, and she was smoking and sitting on the ground. That is all. We don’t share lots of memory. I even cannot spell her name, and am not sure whether she remembers me now. She left on a kind of chill November morning. We greeted to each other by smiling when she was moving her things out. I had no idea she would not return. That is the end. That apartment was empty until this year another girl moved in.  

 

Her name is Sydney, I guess. I remember that day when she and her parents were busy carrying things. I tried to offer my help in a fairly American way. “You guys need some help?”  I think she would think this neighbor is not too bad. As a guy I am not as handsome as Brandon; as a non-citizen I am not as American as Jorge; but I am not too bad. We four are neighbors and share this side of the building. It seems that all three of them are in a relationship. Bless all of them.  I have built kind of friendship with Jorge, just kind of.  Actually, I kind of feel sorry to Jorge, since the first time we met each other on campus I even didn’t know who he was. He passed by and asked “how is going”, and I answered automatically “great”. That was a cold Wednesday morning. I was on my way home, had finished my morning teaching. I thought he was my student, or how could he know me? It was so confused until the afternoon of that day I met him outside my apartment again. Jorge is cute and not hard to recognize. I can only blame myself.

 

It is funny that I met and knew his girlfriend before I know him. However it takes me a long time to figure out that. Jorge is going to graduate this summer and move out. I guess I still can hear about him from his girlfriend and her friend, who is my high school classmate.  Sometimes this world is really a tiny little spot. Anyway, I know there will be one day he becomes a figure in my memory, a passer in my life. So does Sydney; Brandon, who has a really nice sofa and helped me a lot on my lonely birthday; Anna, a girl from Australia, another neighbor, insisted on taking me to a Chinese market; Melisa, another neighbor, always meeting her at library; and others, who is or will be my neighbors and passers.

 

Until now I haven’t figured out what will happen to Anica, what will happen to our neighborhood and friendship. She is the one I spoke to first in this apartment building. When I met her and said “hello”, I could not imagine she is also in my department. When we first walked home together, I could not imagine I would work with her in the same lab. Now we are colleagues and true friends. We know each other, care about each other and help each other. Definitely, she will be a passer one day, but I am sure there is a long journey to that day.

 

The place I am living at is sweet. Sweet tiny apartment and sweet neighbors and friends. I cannot give a reason to move out unless I am forced. I talked to Anica several times about our apartment. It seems she has the same feeling as me. Occasionally I imagine that if Anica were a guy, I might rent a house with him. I don’t know… This is just my imagination.  This spring I went to a professional meeting. I shared a dorm with another two colleagues and friends, Tommy and Nick. I am always curious about American student dorm. I never officially used my undergraduate dorm. It is kind of regretful, I swear. Those two nights we spent together is fabulous. We had lots of fun. However I am not sure whether it is true dorm feeling, since we are all old enough to be adult; even the youngest, me, is twenty something. More important thing is that dorm we lived is supposed to contain sixteen guys, not just three of us. I guess I cannot afford such a dorm full of fifteen guys besides me.

 

Days later, when we returned, Tommy said I am a little dorm-shy. He also told me if someone grows up with five or six siblings, that won’t happen. Finally he really nicely offered “Han, if you like, I can borrow some of my brothers to you.” I guess that is what I do want, a brother or some. If I could have a brother, he would be my roommate.  Or I think I want to say I will treat my roommate as my brother. In such a modern and advanced world, such a saying is really risky. If you try to be nice with your girl roommate, probably people will label you with sexual harassment. If you try to be nice with your guy roommate, they will use homosexual this time. Don’t be so biologically sensitive. The clear truth is that I just want to live with some one who I care about and tolerate my shortcomings and will treat back in the same way. Of course it will work better if that guy is your brother.

 

It will work if I live with Nick, since both of us enjoy cooking and are ecology people. Other things I don’t know, but just two points are enough. Tommy is also ok if his wife and kids don’t mind me joining. These two guys are someone about whom I can say I know a little. It is always better to know someone well before living together. At here, I started my new life since last summer. It takes me almost one year to know something about Tommy and Nick, also to know another guy, Aaron. Anica said Aaron and me match each as friends. I agree.   There is more friendship or brotherhood between us than me and other people. Aaron showed me his house. A tiny guest room is where I will take some days in the future. We will hang out together this summer and go to his parents’ house, where it seems we guys have to share a room. He will be my third roommate, if I count Tommy and Nick as first two. I know none of them is true roommate, just potentially. We are just colleagues, friends, brothers who are not young any more and live apart, if such a saying is appropriate.

 

With a few good friends
And a stick or two
A house is built at a corner called Pooh
With a friend and a stick
Or three or four
A house is built where it wasn't before
With a window here
And there a door
And a nail and peg
For the coat of Eeyore
With a few good friends
And a stick or two
A house is built at a corner called Pooh
With a friend and a stick
Or three or four
A house is built where it wasn't before
Dress it down
Or dress it up
Invite Tigger for tea
And Owl for supper
With a few good friends
And a stick or two
A house is built at a corner called Pooh
With a friend and a stick
Or three or four
A house is built where it wasn't before
With a few good friends...

Thanks for Carly Simon, thanks for her song…

To be honest, March is an amazing month. I have been at New York city, and am going to visit New Orleans. This is not an academic time, though I am still struggling with mammalogy and publication and any other things that make my road to a real job, real professional job. Sometimes I tell myself to take a chance. The truth is that old saying, easy to say, hard to do. Recent travels give me more fun than pain. From Junction TSM (Texas Society of Mammalogy) meeting, and NYC spring break trip, to the coming New Orleans graduation (not mine) plus Easter break trip, I am going to learn this wonderful country more and more.

 

I do not exactly understand recent days, since I enjoyed so much. Now I am preparing tomorrow presentation, and feeling confused that maybe study is kind of a break for vacation. However, nothing is better than travel, isn't it?    

 

During my trip, I finished around middle one third of The Home At The End Of The World, and realized that I am like Jonathan, not Bobby. Jonathan is the one who really wants to escape and love both of other two, the one who is physically weak but mentally dominant, the one who is the most weird. They were going to buy and build a home out of New York City. That is true. I take Waco as my home now since someone makes it home for me.

 

Another thing happened recently and is noticed by me is that more and more friends begin having or changing their blogs. I read them and wander where I am. Among those digital matrices, I am lost. I ALWAYS take blog as a way to see other people's real lifes, which are more wonderful and dramatic than fiction. Similarity is something I am looking for. Not here or there, I don't know my belonging. We are pathetic, in this or that way.

 

I am going to watch and cheer for Aaron tonight.

Bless Anica's exam and my presentation and Song's oral defense.

Sam is in Puerto Rico. What an amazing place to do field work. 

 

Booked ticket to New York City, seven days, only seven days. What I should expect? I should feel grateful. There were only four days for Francesca and Robert during their whole life. Meanwhile, there should be chances for me to go there in the future, as long as I have enough bread and bacon taken to home.

 I am not sure how Jonathan and Bobby could build home in that city and call it “a home at the end of the world”. I am in half of that book. Bobby, it is a coincident name, isn’t it? I was recommended to see this guy’s blog. Hopefully there are more coincidences. At least one I know is bobby loved cooking.

Mike, a student of mine, also said NYC will be awesome for me. I am sure he will not be the last one to say so. His home is in New Jersey. He is familiar with that city. I heard he talked about his middle school life. Is there safe enough for us to travel? That is question bothered me a lot while Mike is talking. No body can answer.  Chef is a knife-dealing job.

Recently I am curious about safety things. I should say I am not brave enough to do lots of things, such like driving, Amoeba slide showing, speaking Latin, even traveling.  The peacefulness of death is not a hard topic for me, but I do fear about those birds gathering around that house.  Luckily, I don’t mind about chopping.  

One thing make me excited is Michelin three-star chefs in that city. However, that means I need to take suit with me.  I think I can afford a three courses lunch, but I am not sure about whether I should do that. Personally I love Jamie Oliver, the naked chef, a non-practicing homosexual. His cooking is really garden-feeling, so is his show.

Anthony Bourdain works for Travel Channel, I guess. He is my mentor of non-Chinese cooking. He said his preference is Nigella, not Jamie, written in his second book. My problem is I love all of three. Jamie and Nigella are British cooks. I thought I may change my view when I could see Food Network, because most of their chefs are American.

Rose said I can and should have a show of my own. I am not sure. Mention to cooking, I believe in my talent. However, I have no chance to practice. The more important thing is I am not handsome enough to be a gay or mad enough to cook in nude. Chef is not only a job, but also fashion, commercial production.

I chose a topic, “slow cooking, fast food”, to prove I can join the top-chef competition. Now maybe I should give up. It is useless to prove anything to your best friends, nor have time I to do it.  Stick to academic is thing I should do.

I didn’t have chance to be taught having fun when I was a kid. I am still in search of fun in my life. When American lose their inspiration or not have it at all to describe a food, they can say “just like chicken”. I have learnt that, and say cooking, or say chef. Chef is not a logical answer for that question.…..   

 

New school? No, I have been here several months. New house? No, I have been here several months, and it is only an apartment. New husband? Hello!? I am a guy. This is not Life with Derek. Anyway, at the beginning of a NEW semester, I am still looking for something, maybe something new.

Definitely new classes, you can find them every semester. Mammalogy is awful.  “There are a few of people. They are called mammalogists. They need job in that area, so they study mammalogy.” I answered “why study mammalogy” in that way. Since I am the only graduate student in that class, I think I can be kind of a joker. That is also a practical and realist answer.  Introduction of Experimental design is common. I met a guy, Jacob, who works in Dr.Lee’s lab.  He is the only undergraduate in that class. He is funny. I can see it. He is also smart. I can guess it. Global Change Biology is terrible. There are ten ladies vs. two guys, and unfortunately the other guy seems always come class in time. I swear I will never go to that class early. It is a true nightmare to sit with ten ladies, come from different countries, different states. All of them are older than me. Some of them are thirty something.  I just remember I was sitting on my chair, and falling down to ground slowly, and trying to make myself smaller and more unattractive. That feeling is like that you happen to enter a women restroom, or attend a feminist meeting. Both Aaron and Dr. Wilkins joked with me about that. Is it really a cool thing? Mammalian Faunal Analysis is nice. We will do a project and make a publication. For me it is always enjoyable to work with Tommy, Nick, Anica, Brianna, and Dr.Wilkins.

This semester all of my four sections are full. That means I have one hundred and twenty students to deal with. I told Aaron they will eat me. He couldn’t understand and asked me whether I was using an idiom. The truth is I was using my imagination: Some of they would just swallow me in a gentle way, without hurting me or making me feel hurt, but their mouths are evilly big, like collapsar, greedy. Some of them would tear me in a bloody way and enjoy the freshness and warmness of my blood. They licked their fingers and lips, forgetting those blood spots on their faces. Shut up. Stop your stupid and weird and creepy imagination. They are your students and probably friends. Some of them are sticking to your sections. I AM SORRY. Yes. Actually I love them, especially Mike, Tim, Brad, Aaron (another Aaron), Owens, Rahul, Arturo, Sheevam, Hui, Zachary, Michael, James and so on. I cannot list those girls here since I have been warned in a Jokey way by Aaron. Hopefully I can give you guys more than you want.  

Friday I worked late in 1106 lab and fixed battery jar with Aaron in icy rain. Saturday I made Aaron do physical work for me. Two cold works. He said I do not need to mention thanks again and again due to our friendship. Cool! By the way, do you know Lian said that you are really a little shy? But I never feel it. Maybe it is athletic slack’s fault. I will consider your suggestion. From this week we have more works to do, is that right? And please don’t put toothpick in your mouth in front of my students.

I got some cool stuffs to show, I will invite Andy and Aaron to enjoy. From this week I need to detail my NYC plan. Where to see, where to buy, where to eat and where to live, four topics contain almost everything. I think maybe I also need a small list about what to buy. Of course not only for myself.  At least I need buy a camcorder and some bear stuffs before leaving. A Locaste, a tie or tie-cufflink gift box, some books, some art things, a young lady thing for birthday……in NYC. Sorry, I want to continue, but it is time to stop. I still have bunch of things to do.

 

The new semester is coming……

I complained it to my cousin Leo, remembering he also likes playing monopoly.  Yesterday I played it with Anica. It’s funny to hear her counting in Serbian and me in Chinese, although we talked in English. Both of us knew that it was the first and last chance to play it in recent months. She is going to take her preliminary doctoral exams. I will be stuck in mammalogy. It is hard to complain everything to a brat who is thirteen years younger than you. Anyway, he is the only one, I guess, who is close enough. I am not sure whether he will continue loving that game in future years, since there are more interesting things to check out.  However, he is lucky enough to be an American. Both Anica and I are not.

The preliminary exams will be hold after spring break. That means spring break should be the final touch. Fortunately, there is one year left for me to think about it. This spring break will be and should be and must be my true travelling break. Bless Anica, bless your exam.  In fact I will have my first exam in this month. It is called first midterm exam of mammalogy, but it is truly at the beginning of semester.  “You will be fine.”Aaron said two days ago. He always says that to me since he thinks I did well in the past.  I should admit that I like hearing that. I am not sure about his purpose, but it does not matter. The important thing is I FEEL he always tries to encourage me.

I pay more attention on result, and less on purpose.  It is false to say there are not culture conflicts between me and Aaron, or me and Anica, or me and whoever is not Chinese, or even me and whoever is Chinese. If I look at result, things are getting easier. People believe that the true meaning of sport is process or purpose, not result. I guess that is why I am not sport person at all. I should thank my friends who are big funs of sport. Thanks you guys pardon me. Mention to sport, Australia open is coming. Anica said she definitely will support Novak in men’s singles, and feels excited for his play. I don’t know whom I will support or pay special attention on (I know tennis more or less). No Chinese guy in men’s single. If next time she asks me, maybe I will say I prefer Andy, since he looks so funny and is a Texas person. I am in U.S. now; it is good idea to support some American players.  To be honest, I do appreciate those American players, generally. They understand more about sport than us.

Once Aaron asked me how Chinese people view American people. That is a kind of embarrassing question, but I believe he was satisfied with my answer, because I did give evidences to support my views. I remember one word I used is arrogant; I talked as much as I can about those athletes. In my view arrogance is not a bad thing. At least it shows your ability to ignore other people’s comments. 

It has been a long time since I found that other people cannot understand me no matter which language I speak. My buddies in china admit that, so does Aaron. Although he pretends to tell me it is language problem, I know the truth is the way in which I am thinking.  Anica says she still has problems with understanding international English pronunciation, but she is sure that American guys don’t.   I am also sure when Aaron says “I don’t understand you”, he means he cannot understand my meaning, not speaking. I tell him I don’t understand your music, either, as a fight back. Recently I begin to enjoy this kind of fight with him, since he joked with me several time last semester and did bully me although not on purpose. It is time to fight back. Hopefully he knows he is both the first and last person I will fight with, and understand that. I will check this out soon.

Back to spring break, I have a new plan to buy a camcorder. I think it may be the only chance for me to go to New York City in recent years. I must be well equipped. I hope I have enough budgets to buy a Handycam, it is a little expensive but not pricey. Sony is always worth that.  I moved camcorder forward of car on my 2008 wish list. The coming semester is deadly busy; I don’t want to waste my time in wandering around with a car. The more important thing is I have made sure I want to have a Volvo or a Ford Mustang.  

Wish list 2008

Over $100 and must have?

1. Camcorder(no idea at all), <$1000?

2. Car(Volvo, Ford Mustang, or……..),<$10000 or more?

3.  Watch(which brand? Hamilton), <$300, maybe in spring travel

4. Spring travel, <$1000(include flight & shopping)

5. Summer travel, back to China or other?

6. PS3 or X-box for Leo, what for Lisa, What else? Or part of summer plan?

7. Ultra mobile PC(Fujitsu Lifebook U810, unless there is a incredible promotion of Vaio UX390), <$1000

Car list

Volvo, whatever

Ford Mustang

Pontiac Sunfire

Chrysler Sebring, Concorde

Dodge Stratus, Intreoid, Neon

Mitsubishi Eclipse

Hyundai Tiburon

Today I really made no sense at all. Forgive me please, for the sake of my haven’t-recovered- illness-which- has – been – three- weeks!

 

P.S. We have $500 more in Smith fellowship. Cheers!